First Like

Ben: Mommy Veronica and I shared a secret joke today but I don't want Paxton to know so I'm going to whisper it.

Me: Ok honey.

Ben: (whispering) I told Veronica that I sort of love Lolita. And then Veronica told me that Lolita sort of loves me too. Funny right?

Good Show

After Ben has been in a show at camp...

Me: Hey Ben, how was the show today?
Ben: Well...let's just say...better than perfect!

The Medical Profession

After learning about blood today...

Paxton: Mommy can you tell us more about blood like plasma and platelets?

Me: Well, I think we should look it up because I don't think I could explain it properly.

Paxton: I bet Pop Pop would know. He's a heart doctor.

Ben: Uncle Max would know too.

Paxton: But Pop Pop would know more because he's a HEART doctor.

Ben: So's Uncle Max.

Paxton: No, he's an ear doctor.

Ben: No he's a heart doctor. He works HARD all day long.

Definition

Me: I need you boys to stop arguing.

Ben: We're not arguing! I'm just talking madly.

A Letter to the Tooth Fairy on the Loss of a First Tooth

Translation:
Sorry Tooth Fairy. I lost my tooth. It is in my stomach. Please forgive me.
Ben F.

Followed by a detailed drawing of where the missing tooth used to reside.

Book Worm

Me: Thank You Paxton, for being such a good reader.

Paxton: Why are you thanking me? I should be thanking you for buying all the books.

My. son. is. awesome.

How to One Up a Talking Turtle

Turtle Talk with Crush is a very cute show at Epcot where Crush from Finding Nemo actually talks to the audience and besides cracking some jokes and teaching everyone the different ways to say "Dude," he answers questions from the kids about turtles.

Paxton was one of the lucky kids who got picked to ask a question...

Crush: Hey little dude. What's your question?

Paxton: What color are a turtle's eyes?

Crush: Well, mine are like brown. But my girlfriend Shelley...(sigh) hers are more like aquamarine cuz she's like totally hot. What color are your eyes?

Paxton: Well, I think they're brownish...but...I can't actually look at them.

Pause for a solid minute of the audience laughing.

Crush: Ummm....I don't really have a response to that.