The Marrying Man

At Dinner....

Mommy: Benjamin! That is the third fork you've dropped. Why do you keep dropping forks??

Benjamin: (With tears welling in his eyes and his lip poking out) This is why no one is going to marry me.

Mommy: Awww...Ben, of course someone is going to marry you. What happened? Did someone say they weren't going to marry you?

Benjamin: Yes, Dana. (tearing up again) And I want to marry her.

Mommy: Ben, you know what, you're going to meet a lot of girls, and I promise one of them will want to marry you.

Paxton: Ben, you want to know what's great about marrying? YOU get to CHOOSE the girl! I'm going to marry Morgan. I LOVE her. She's my best friend and she rocks.

Huh...same reason I married Josh.

We'll Start With Dougie Howser M.D. and then Go from There

(Somebody must have told Paxton that doctors make a lot of money.)

Paxton: I want to learn to be a doctor so I can charge sixteen thousand quarters for people to come into my room.

Me: You're going to charge people sixteen thousand quarters to go into your doctor office so you can make them well?

Paxton: Yes.

Me: You're going to have to be very smart if you want to become a doctor.

Paxton: Yes. I'm going to have to watch A LOT of doctor shows on TV!

-Joshua

Impeccable Musical Taste

(Driving home from daycare, listening to the radio)

Daddy: Paxton, do you like this music?

Paxton: Yeah.

Daddy: It's called hip-hop.

Paxton: Oh... is that because it's another language?

I'm a Good Mom

So today I got a wonderful call from the boy's school. Karen (aka the ruler of the Gan) called and began raving about how much she loved my kids. Of course I love hearing this, but it made me suspicious. She than told me her daughter Rachel (the asst. in Benjamin's class) had a story to tell me. Here goes...

While sitting down for snack time, Rachel is eating strawberries...

Benjamin: Morah Rachel can I have a strawberry?

Rachel: No, Benjamin, you have your pretzels.

Benjamin: Are they not for kids?

Rachel: No, Benjamin, these are only for me.

Benjamin: Do they have alcohol in them?

I have no idea why he would have thought such a thing.

The Supervillain Broke My Heart

So Paxton was sent home early from school today because his teachers suspected pink eye. On the way home Benjamin tells me what he thinks happens once someone succumbs to pink eye...

Benjamin: Mommy, Paxton has pink eye.

Mommy: I know. But I think he's feeling better now.

Benjamin: I don't think so mommy. I don't think he can blink his eye anymore. I think he's Two-Face.

Later on Benjamin and the super villain are sitting in my lap during cuddle time (this happens after story time) and begin to sing me songs. Benjamin keeps singing about Joshua and Jericho, and then sings a song about I love Mommy. Paxton decides he's going to expand on the loving Mommy song and proceeds to break my heart with the best intentions...

Paxton: (singing) Even though you don't play with me all the time...I love you.

I Learned a Lesson

After not listening to me for the third time, I took away Paxton's Harry Potter chapter tonight. This was then followed by a 15-minute tantrum with the following outbursts...

• "Harry Potter is the only thing I want in my life, Mommy...in my life!"
• "Mommy, I knew what you were saying was a good idea. My brain knew it was a good idea. But my body wouldn't listen!"
• "Mommy, if you don't let me have Harry Potter I won't listen to you at all tomorrow Mommy!"(this was followed by Ben saying, "Mommy if you don't let Paxton have Harry Potter I won't listen to you either." And then later Benjamin attempted levity and told a knock knock joke. Alas this did not calm him down either.)

Finally after I let Paxton brush his teeth again, he curls up under the covers and I sit with Benjamin.

Paxton: "I learned a lesson Mommy. If you throw a tantrum, you don't get what you want. I learned another lesson Mommy. If grown-ups don't get what they want, then kids don't get what they want."

Cantor Ben

While listening to Stacy Q sing "Two of Hearts"

Benjamin: She just said Moses! I think this must be a Passover song.