Little Star

Paxton: I'm a star.

Mommy: Why are you a star, Paxton.

Paxton: Because when I was outside, I was twinkling.

Thank You Max

Mommy: Can I eat your hands?

Paxton: No, I'm going to eat your nose.

(Paxton grabs mommy's nose and devours it making lots of snarling sounds.)

Mommy: Oh no! Where's my nose? What are you going to do with my nose?

Paxton: I'm going to poop it out my butt!

Mommy: Who told you that?

Paxton: Uncle Max.

When Nature Calls...

After an evening of going out for ice cream at a little outdoor place, Paxton follows potty-training protocol.

Paxton: I need to go pee pee.
Mommy: Josh, I don't think there's a bathroom here.
Daddy: I'll take care of it. Come on Paxton.

Minutes pass...

Daddy: OK, Paxton, tell mommy.
Paxton: We took emergency measures.
(Mommy laughing hysterically)
Paxton: I pee peed on a tree!

A Lesson in Purim

Paxton: I'm Jewish.

Mommy: Yes Paxton.

Paxton: Haman doesn't like Jewish people.

It took three times for me to realize he was saying Haman and not talking about some kid at school.

Fly Away Home

Mommy: (Pointing at a plant breaking through the soil) Look Paxton...do you see that?

Paxton: Yeah. It has black spots.

Mommy: It does?

Paxton: Yeah. I think it must be a broken ladybug.

Why So Serious?

Chasing Pavement

While trying to navigate the parking lot at Wal-mart , I got audibly frustrated with the other drivers (without the expletives , I promise).

Paxton: What's wrong Mommy?

Mommy: I'm dealing with bad drivers, honey.

Paxton: Why are they bad drivers...cuz they're in your way?