Neeeeeeerds!

(Paxton and Benjamin are on Christmas vacation at their cousins' house. The four of them are playing super heroes together chasing imaginary bad guys.)

Paxton: Daddy! Come here. We need your super strength.

Me: Uh... so apparently *I'm* playing now? Okay. I AM COLOSSUS! I WILL USE MY SUPER STRENGTH TO...

Paxton: No Daddy!!! We're playing DC.

(Not understanding why this is funny means that you're not nerdy enough to hang with our family. Just know that somewhere in California Trey Teufel is laughing hysterically.)

Genius

Paxton: I was good for Miss Palo today.

Mommy: You didn't see Miss Palo today.

Paxton: Well, no wonder!

We Label Our Children

So we've said it before, but just a reminder, that we have indeed labelled our children and they know it. Here's how it went down this morning...

After taking a quick test of his sight words (i.e. and, the, red, black, square...) and getting everyone right, I was beaming.

Mommy: Good job Paxton! I'm so proud of you. You're our reading child!

Paxton: That's right Mommy. Now I'm the sleeping child, the swimming child, AND the reading child.

Daddy: Now you can be the eating child.

Paxton: No. And I'm never going to be the flushing child.

A Yamaka filled with Candy

So this isn't so much what the kids said as what they did...

Uncle Max and Aunt Courtney got the boys a pinata for their birthday and filled it with wonderful things they thought the boys would love (which they did). Trying to execute the opening of said pinata is something else.

Paxton: It's a yamaka!

Mommy: No it's a pinata. It's from Uncle Max and Aunt Courtney.

Paxton: Yeah! Is there candy in it?

Mommy: Well, let's see...

So, I decide the best plan is to hold it while the kids hit it. (It's dark outside and I don't want to wait til the next day). I give Paxton a yard stick. Clearly this is a well thought out plan. Paxton swings it for all its worth, and smacks the the monkey pinata. Now this kid has some strength behind it and thank goodness good aim, cuz he could have done some damage to me as well as the pinata. Alas there is hardly a dent in it.

Now it's Ben's turn. Now Ben uses the yard stick as more of a hatchet and practically whacks me on the head. Hmmm...maybe I should rethink this. I give Paxton one more try, and now I am fearing for my life and the pinata is nowhere near open.

Let's start over...

Mommy: Ok guys we're going to try something different. Let's just punch it.

The boys begin karate chopping it, kicking it, tearing it (while I'm still holding it) and then...

Paxton: Hey Ben I have an idea, let me throw you at it!

Ben: Ok!

Paxton proceeds to pick up Benjamin and throws him a foot and a half at the pinata. Ben hits the ground and I look down at my little boy who resembles a turtle on his back. I'm preparing for tears, when Ben shakes his head and then...

Ben: (giggling uncontrollably) My hand barely hit it!

Sing Out Louise!

Benjamin wants to listen to "Like It's Quiditch" which is a Harry Potter remake of "Like a G6" by Far East Movement. The chick doing the parody sounds just like the girl from the original. I load up Tracy's IPod but the only thing I can find is "Like It's Quiditch (acoustic)" which is sung by a man. Just a dude and an acoustic guitar instead of Hip Hop scratches and Electronica...

Benjamin: Awwww! It doesn't sound the same!

Paxton: That's okay Ben. Maybe her voice is just tired.

I'm not proud

Ben's been working on the letter 'F' at school. And sometimes he's had a bit of trouble. For example...

Ben: I have one mommy. Fumb. Fah fah fumb.
Mommy: No Ben that's thumb. Th th thumb.

So later on today you'd think I would have been proud when he came up with another 'F' word.

Ben: F*ckin'. Fah fah f*ckin'
Mommy: No Ben that's a bad word. We don't say that.
Ben: But it's an 'F' word.
Mommy: No Ben. We don't say that ever.
Ben: Awwww....I wanted it on our chart.

The Marrying Man

At Dinner....

Mommy: Benjamin! That is the third fork you've dropped. Why do you keep dropping forks??

Benjamin: (With tears welling in his eyes and his lip poking out) This is why no one is going to marry me.

Mommy: Awww...Ben, of course someone is going to marry you. What happened? Did someone say they weren't going to marry you?

Benjamin: Yes, Dana. (tearing up again) And I want to marry her.

Mommy: Ben, you know what, you're going to meet a lot of girls, and I promise one of them will want to marry you.

Paxton: Ben, you want to know what's great about marrying? YOU get to CHOOSE the girl! I'm going to marry Morgan. I LOVE her. She's my best friend and she rocks.

Huh...same reason I married Josh.